


in the moon's wake

by dochiwrites



Series: mahiwaga [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Christmas, Crush at First Sight, Fluff, Holding Hands, M/M, Simbang Gabi, a bit of filipino cultural references, but English, doyoung is so hopelessly whipped, get on my vibe, inspired by bibingka, side yuil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:13:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21815713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dochiwrites/pseuds/dochiwrites
Summary: Simbang Gabi is a series of nine predawn masses on the days leading up to Christmas. Legend says that when you complete the nine masses, your wishes will come true.Doyoung gets up every 4AM, hoping it’s all worth it.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Series: mahiwaga [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759288
Comments: 76
Kudos: 472





	in the moon's wake

**Author's Note:**

> this is just an elaborate english translation of the song [bibingka](https://open.spotify.com/track/3nmRSlzR7xtAo95GjfIahZ?si=1COOY259Tray0kBZd6yk4w) by ben&ben
> 
> i really wanted to write a southeast asian christmas that doesn’t revolve around western tropes like snow, santa, fireplaces, etc. so if you aren’t familiar with filipino christmas traditions, i hope you enjoy experiencing a taste of it here.
> 
> special thanks to 🥀 for beta-ing this for me despite short notice!
> 
> happy reading and merry christmas everyone (⁀ᗢ⁀) ~

**December 16.** The first night mass.

Doyoung woke up to Yuta tugging at him harshly, interrupting a dream he can’t even remember now. He cracks an eye open, not bothering to hide the scowl on his face as his roommate grins at him unapologetically.

“Let’s go!” Yuta says, hitting his arm with glee. Unlike Doyoung, he always has been a morning person.

Doyoung blinks at him a couple of times, swatting him off as he rubs his eyes open. It hits him that it’s the first day (err, dawn) of Simbang Gabi when he turns to look up at the wall clock: 3:45AM. He nods timidly as he wrestles out of the sheets and struggles to get on his sneakers.

“Really? Not even a shower?” Yuta deadpans. 

Doyoung waves him off. The walk to the nearest church takes about ten minutes, and knowing the first mass always has the most number of attendees, he can’t afford to run a bath now if that meant standing at the back for a full hour.

“No one’s gonna know,” Doyoung says, just before he finishes tying both of his shoelaces.

The two of them head downstairs where Taeil waits for them in the curb. Yuta runs up to him, latching onto his waist as the other nearly topples over. They’ve been together for a year now, and although Doyoung keeps saying it’s an eyesore seeing them all the time, he doesn’t deny they look good for each other.

They start walking down the dimly lit streets towards the church, with Yuta and Taeil striding in front of him as they swayed their hands together.

Being up at 4AM is never an easy feat for Doyoung, but it's rewarding in a sense that this is the only time he gets to really appreciate the serenity– the lack of cars on the street, the audible crickets chirping in the distance, the gush of wind hitting his face. He decides to focus on these little things instead to remind him why it's worth waking up to.

Taeil, noticing how quiet Doyoung has been for a while, looks behind him and asks, “What’d you wish for this year, Doyoung?”

“What he’s been wishing for every year,” Yuta answers for him. He wiggles his eyebrows back at him and says, “A boyfriend.”

Doyoung snorts, “No offense, but I have no trouble keeping my dong in my pants. Unlike some of us.”

Taeil stops in his tracks, forcing Yuta and Doyoung to do the same. “Whoa, whoa. Hey, we don’t dick it every day.” Doyoung notices the furrowed brows on Taeil’s eyes and figures he had stepped out of line, but just as he’s about to apologize, Taeil adds, “Only once a week.”

This earns him a shrill, hysterical shriek from Yuta, getting hit playfully in the arm. Doyoung could only frown at his friends as he points towards the bright, looming lights at the end of the street. “For the love of god, we’re headed to church.”

For the past three years, Doyoung never had the chance to complete all nine dawn masses. It always starts with him getting motivated for the first two or three nights, then ultimately deciding that waking up at the dead of night isn’t worth it if he could be using the time to catch up on some sleep.

Taeil, however, is part of the choir, and despite arriving five minutes before the mass started, the rest of his choirmates are already there before him. He runs up to the front of the pews facing the crowd where the rest of the choir members are seated, and the others welcome him with bro hugs and shoulder patting.

Yuta and Doyoung squeeze into a seat, a few rows up front. This allows them to get a clear view of the choir which is in favor of Yuta as he and Taeil start sending telepathic, lovey-dovey signals to each other.

Doyoung doesn’t even realize he’s been making a sour face until Yuta looks back at him and elbows him in the ribcage. “Pray for one, bitch,” Yuta chuckles.

“As if,” he mutters back, rubbing at the sore spot.

Doyoung has never wished for a boyfriend during Simbang Gabi. As corny as it may seem, he only ever wishes for contentment. When he told this to Yuta a year ago, his friend criticized him and said it was too vague of a wish, all the more reason he’s become dejected on completing this year’s nine masses. That being said, Yuta decided it upon himself that in order for Doyoung to receive contentment, he has to start with something more specific, hence, a boyfriend.

As the mass began, Doyoung finds himself struggling to stay awake. The bright yellow lights from the ceiling aren’t enough to keep him up, and his eyes start getting heavier and heavier when the priest delivers his sermon. If it isn’t for Yuta pinching his arm every now and then, he surely would be passed out by now.

In an attempt to keep his brain gears functioning, everytime a song is played, he starts dissecting the voices of the choir. He couldn’t help but admire how better the songs sound today– a lot more fuller and dynamic than a regular Sunday hillsong. Most of the time, it would always be Taeil’s tenor overpowering the room, but now there’s a satisfying balance from the lower vocal registers.

“Hm?” he mutters to himself.

He scans the group, unable to pinpoint whoever owns the baritone.

“Mark?” he assumes. But Mark is busy playing the guitar and is only muttering the words to the song.

Then, his eyes shift to a new face. A  _ really _ attractive face.

He glances back at Yuta, hoping his friend couldn’t tell his stomach had just dipped at the sight of it. When he figures he’s clear, he slowly looks back at the boy– tousled brown hair and a neat polo matched with worn-out jeans.

_ There is no way he’s from here, _ Doyoung thinks to himself.

Then in the middle of his internal crisis, Cute Boy glances up only to catch his eye. Doyoung looks away too quickly, heart racing from embarrassment which he decides to project through involuntary foot tapping.

Yuta turns to him, frowning at him over his sudden distress. “You okay?”

Doyoung nods.

As the mass draws nearer to an end, the priest delivers his spiel, instructing everyone to offer each other the sign of peace. Soft murmurs fill the room as everyone turns to give short bows among each other– in front of them, behind them, beside them.

Doyoung turns to the choir, offering his friends a bow, then he meets Cute Boy’s eyes again. Cute Boy offers him a warm smile, eyes crinkling and dimples showing as he slightly tilts his head down at him. Doyoung tries his hardest to do the same, if not him being too stunned to react. This time, Yuta seems to notice because he bumps Doyoung's hip and winks.

“Shut up,” Doyoung says under his breath, pushing him away.

**December 17.** The second night mass.

Doyoung gets up an hour before. He races towards the shower before Yuta could get to it first and comes out only to see his friend cracking a sly smile at him.

“Who knew all it took for you to have good hygiene was a fatass crush on someone?” Yuta asks as he walks past him to the bathroom. Doyoung rolls his eyes at him, drying his hair with a damp towel as he steps in front of the mirror.

He isn’t expecting Cute Boy to be there again today, but if he is, then Doyoung at least hopes he looks presentable himself. Yesterday was a disaster, with him in his shorts and a wrinkly t-shirt he slept in the night before. What was he thinking, stepping out in public looking like a sleep-deprived college senior? (Well, he is, but that’s not the point.)

Today, he prims himself, not too overboard but enough to make him look like he usually wakes up at 3 in the morning. At this point, it’s undeniable. He is pathetically crushing on a stranger. 

As soon as they step foot inside the church, Doyoung sees him again, and he tries his hardest in holding back a smile.

**December 18.** The third night mass.

They’re thirty minutes early today. The seats are barely filled so Taeil invites Yuta and Doyoung up the choir seats as they wait for the mass to start.

Cute Boy isn’t around yet and Doyoung offers a silent thanks because he surely wouldn’t know how to react had he been here.

It doesn’t take long for him to loosen and catch up with his neighborhood friends. It turns out Mark has gotten accepted to a highly prestigious university for next year, and his parents are inviting all of his church friends for a Christmas Eve celebration on the 24th.

“Hey, congrats on getting in,” Johnny says. “I vividly recall searching for my name on that list and my mom being all passive-aggressive and saying I tried my best.”

“At least she praised you!” Taeil bellows into laughter. “My mom was unforgiving. Acted like it was the end of the world for us. It was insane.”

The two of them toss stories back and forth to their younger friends, all of which everyone is deeply engrossed in. Johnny has this way of recounting stories animatedly that he makes them sound more interesting than they actually are. They barely even notice it when someone pulls up a seat behind them.

Doyoung turns around to see who it is and his breath slightly hitches at the sight of Cute Boy sitting himself down. He greets Doyoung with a smile again, like he always does, and scoots closer to him.

“What’d I miss?” he whispers.

Doyoung shakes his head, squinting his eyes to mimic a distasteful face.

_ Act cool, Doyoung. _

“Hag tales,” he says.

This gets a laugh out of Cute Boy and the dimples on his cheeks get deeper. Doyoung swears this is what an angel looks like up close.

_ Okay, Doyoung. He liked that. Keep it up. _

Cute Boy suddenly lifts a hand at him, “I’m Jaehyun, by the way,” he introduces himself before Doyoung could start drooling at the sight of him.

Jaehyun.

So not only does he dress nice, have a stellar voice  _ and _ cute dimples, but he also has an attractive name?

An attractive name. Doyoung wants to smack himself in the head. How could he crush on someone so hard that he’d find their  _ name _ attractive?

“You?” Jaehyun asks, abruptly stopping him from his internal crisis.

Doyoung's eyes widen. "M-me?"

Jaehyun nods, laughing at his bewildered face. "Sorry. Was that question too hard?"

_ Way to go, Doyoung. _

He shakes his head quickly, laughing along. After mentally beating himself up for being such a weak bitch for a pretty face, he finally answers. "I'm Doyoung," he says, taking his hand.

_ Really, god? They’re as soft as they look, too? _

“Nice to meet you.”

“You too.”

**December 19.** The fourth night mass.

Just three nights ago, Yuta had been the one bugging Doyoung awake at dawn. Now it’s him with a frown on his face as Doyoung urges him up on his feet.

“Giving up already?” Doyoung teases.

“I feel sick,” Yuta groans, pulling the sheets up to his head as he refuses to get out of bed. “Tell Taeil I can’t go.”

Doyoung sneers at him. “That’s everyone’s excuse.”

It isn’t a lie per se. By the fourth night, the crowd is usually half its size in comparison to the first. Teenagers would be too unmotivated in completing the nine masses, while most would sleep through their alarms. For some reason, Doyoung feels more driven this year than he ever has been in the past.

He doesn’t deny that  _ maybe _ Jaehyun has something to do with it, but it’s immediately followed by a quick prayer to God as he apologizes for turning church into his potential place of courtship. 

“No, I’m serious,” Yuta says in his best sick voice. “I really think I should sit this one out.”

Doyoung pulls him out with one last tug. “Come on, we’re finishing this together.”

After formally introducing themselves to each other last night, Jaehyun has started greeting Doyoung more vividly now. A tight-lipped smile has turned into a toothy wave from the front of the room, and Doyoung couldn’t help but do the same. It’s almost like he’s too entranced to react differently to such a captivating person.

Beside him, Yuta shivers in his seat as he buries his hands inside his jacket.

Maybe he really is sick.

**December 20.** The fifth night mass.

Doyoung spends the rest of the afternoon nursing a bedridden Yuta. Although his fever isn’t significantly high, he still refuses to eat and put anything in his stomach apart from some medicine. This only ended up with him vomiting everything out in the toilet.

“I knew it. You’re pregnant,” Doyoung tries his best to joke around, lightening the mood as he pats Yuta’s back, head still stuck in the bowl.

Yuta lifts his chin to flush the toilet and with the remainder of his energy, he chuckles. “I’m gonna name him something subpar and unimpressive. Does ‘Dongyoung’ have a nice ring to it?”

Doyoung stands up to dunk Yuta's head jokingly back in the toilet bowl and his friend shrieks. He decides to head towards the kitchen and offer him a glass of water, but just before he leaves the bathroom, he turns back and says, “You should stay home for tonight.”

Yuta sighs. “Guess I can’t complete this year’s.” He scratches his head, holding himself back from looking absolutely irritated. “This fucking blows.”

Doyoung decides to pick his next words carefully. For the past four years, Yuta has always completed all nine days of Simbang Gabi. This would be the very first time he’d miss out on a night, and he couldn’t blame him for getting upset over it.

"Maybe I should stay with you," Doyoung silently suggests. It's not like he's ever completed it anyway, so might as well accompany Yuta at home.

“What? Nooo.” Yuta shakes his head quickly. He stands up and walks to the sink, grabbing his toothbrush. Just before he turns the faucet on, he smirks back at him and says, “Go. I have a good feeling you’ll finish it this year.”

Now that Yuta isn’t with him for the night, Doyoung situates himself in the corner of the back row. He has no problem being alone, just that there’s no reason for him to sit so close to the front. Yuta had asked him to relay a few obscene telepathic messages to Taeil which Doyoung prefers to forget, so he decides to be as far away from the choir seats as possible.

Of course, he glances quick enough to notice that he couldn’t see Jaehyun with the rest of them. Maybe there’s an airborne virus going around. He tries not to dwell on it too much, only silently hoping Jaehyun is okay.

By 4AM, the night mass starts and Doyoung focuses his attention to the sermon. This is what he’s here for anyway, right?

Just as the lector finishes reading a passage, she instructs the crowd to sit down. Doyoung suddenly feels a breeze run past behind him, something different from the wind that accompanies them at dawn.

He turns around and to his surprise, it’s Jaehyun– short of breath and looking like he ran his way here. Despite looking fresh out of a marathon, Doyoung couldn’t help but gape. He instinctively scoots to the side, allowing Jaehyun to sit down beside him.

“Thanks,” Jaehyun mutters, accepting the offer as he tries to catch his breath. “My alarm didn’t go off,” he explains when he notices Doyoung staring at him.

He nods, quickly looking away to focus his eyes on the seat in front. He fights the urge to laugh as a mental image of Jaehyun panicking himself awake in the dead of night pops in his brain.

Jaehyun glances at the choir and Taeil tilts his head at him in question when he sees him in the crowd. He nudges Doyoung. “They’re gonna kill me, aren’t they?”

Doyoung shakes his head. “Nah.” He takes in a deep breath, silent enough to go unnoticed as he basks in the feeling of Jaehyun’s arm slightly resting against his. “They’ll probably make you pay for their food, though.”

Jaehyun chuckles, putting an end to their conversation as he brings his attention up front. Doyoung does the same.

This is what he’s here for.

By the latter half of the session, they wordlessly remain seated beside each other. He couldn't stop noticing how Jaehyun's knee softly keeps bumping against his. Whether it be intentional or by accident, Doyoung couldn’t tell. Still, he secretly enjoys it.

His hands remain moving– on his sides, crossed, on his lap. He keeps them busy in an attempt to play it cool despite realizing he's doing the  _ exact  _ opposite. Yuta would definitely call him a poor, lovestruck bitch if he ever finds out this is what’s gotten into him. Guess the lovebug really got him good this time.

Then, when the priest calls for them to stand and sing the Lord’s Prayer, Doyoung almost hitches his breath when Jaehyun reaches out to hold his hand. Just seconds ago, he was as restless as a willow in a windstorm, but now… now he’s frozen. He couldn’t even find it in him to sing along to the hillsong as he stands there unmoving.

Doyoung could feel the heat rising on his face, certain he’s getting two shades redder, so he silently wills it in him to calm down. He breathes in as deep as he can, and Jaehyun must’ve noticed because he glances back at him and loosens his grip.

_ ‘Nooooo, put it back,’ _ Doyoung almost whines.

As the song draws to an end, Jaehyun is the first to let go. Doyoung brings his hands down and locks his hands together, slightly caressing his fingers as the thought of Jaehyun's hand on his linger for a little bit longer.

He silently wishes Jaehyun's late again tomorrow.

Word gets around fast among his friends. By noon, Yuta is already aware of the incident. 

“You whore!” he shrieks, hitting Doyoung awake from his nap with a pillow. “You dirty little whore!”

Without opening his eyes, Doyoung grabs the pillow before Yuta could hit him again. “Tell that to god,” he grumbles.

Yuta flops on Doyoung’s bed on top of him as he whines, “The  _ one time _ I don’t go. Really?”

Doyoung cracks his eyes open to see his roommate back in his usual cheerful self. All it took him was a day’s rest to get back into shape. Although Doyoung’s not entirely sure if he misses being Yuta’s personal punching bag, he’s glad Yuta’s okay.

“He said his alarm didn’t set,” Doyoung explains, pushing him off the bed.

He never intended church to be a place to flirt in, and for the record, he wouldn’t even consider  _ that _ flirting. Everyone holds hands during the Lord’s Prayer, and it’s not like he finds every innocent handhold malicious.

It was an innocent touch, wasn’t it?

Yuta smacks his face with the pillow before he could decide.

**December 21.** The sixth night mass.

After tonight’s mass, Taeil runs up to them and lets them know he’s staying behind. As the one who leads the church choir, he’s instructed to rehearse a piece with the pianist for the mass on Christmas day. 

“I’ll wait for you,” Yuta says unhesitantly.

“What about Doyoung?” 

If Doyoung is being honest, then he’d say he wants to head home right now. It’s part of his routine to catch up on at least four more hours of sleep after every mass, and right now, he’s feeling fully conditioned in collapsing on his bed.

“I don’t mind staying,” Doyoung says, partly out of courtesy, and partly out of not wanting to walk alone at this hour. “The street’s too dark, I’d rather wait for you guys.”

“Where are you headed?” someone says behind him. The grin on Yuta and Taeil’s face don't go unnoticed and Doyoung turns around to see it be none other than Jaehyun. Jaehyun tilts his head towards the right side of the dark street. “This is my route. You?”

“It’s his, too!” Yuta blurts out for him. “Our apartment’s a ten-minute walk from here. White building with red accents.”

Jaehyun nods in delight. “That’s perfect, I pass by that!”

“You don’t- you don’t have to,” Doyoung mutters, shaking his head. “I can wait for them, really.”

“Pfft. Come on, Doyoung. Don’t be rude.” Now it’s Taeil who’s speaking against him. “You know what they say: Someone offers to walk you home, you take it.”

Doyoung frowns unsurely. “I’m… not sure that’s valid in every argument.”

Yuta snorts as Taeil recounts what he just said. “You really should stop speaking,” he tells him.

Jaehyun laughs, scratching his head at the idea of him being accused of someone with wrong intentions. "Well," he shrugs. "I promise I won’t mug you."

Doyoung had feared saying yes to this would be the biggest mistake of his life. He didn’t want to entrap himself in the longest ten minutes of his life, mentally sifting through a list of conversational topics so as not to drown in silence. To his surprise, that doesn’t happen at all.

Doyoung realizes Jaehyun is a natural-born talker. Although not as loud as Yuta, he still manages to make the walk bearable enough for Doyoung not to regret. He tells Doyoung about how much of a big deal it is that Taeil gets to lead the chorale on Christmas and how amazing it is to hear him belt out notes as effortlessly as he can. He tells him about Mark’s insane guitar skills and his ability to pick up chords just by hearing it once. He tells him about Johnny and how he hosts a local radio show. 

Doyoung also realizes that Jaehyun walks  _ really _ fast because by the time he feels comfortable enough to ask about Jaehyun's life, they’re already in front of his apartment.

“You mind if I walk you home again tomorrow?” Jaehyun asks. “Taeil’s gonna be held back for the next few days. Since this is my way home too, it'd be nice to have some company.”

_ Walk you home. _ Not 'walk home with you' but walk  _ you _ home. Doyoung's stomach does an Olympic dive.

"I’d love that," he says coolly.

Yes, Doyoung. Yes, you would.

Jaehyun grins, giving him a short wave. He doesn’t walk away until he waits for Doyoung to get inside the gate successfully.

**December 22.** The seventh night mass.

Doyoung doesn’t deny anticipating the walk home with Jaehyun tonight. He tries his hardest to ignore the knowing smiles on Yuta and Taeil’s faces and decides to drag Jaehyun out of the perimeter as fast as he can. 

The streets are still as dark as it’s always been at an hour like this– too early to catch the sunrise but too late to see stars. It doesn’t disappoint Doyoung enough because December has always been his favorite season. Colorful star-shaped lanterns mask the houses and street lamps, a simple yet charming touch to symbolize the Christmas spirit.

He’s been gawking at the blinking lanterns above the street for a while now that he doesn’t realize he’s about to bump into Jaehyun until they collide, sending him to stumble back slightly as Jaehyun grips on his arm.

“Whoa, there,” Jaehyun says, wallet on one hand. While Doyoung was too busy stargazing (literally), it turns out Jaehyun has been standing in front of a rice cake vendor’s food stall, buying himself a traditional Christmas delicacy known as  _ bibingka.  _ “Do you want one?” he asks.

“I’m good, thanks,” Doyoung says back, feeling Jaehyun's grip loosen on his arm.

While he takes in the satisfying smell of the butter burning and the charcoal it’s being cooked on, Doyoung unconsciously reaches a hand out to rub at his stomach, completely contradicting whatever he just said.

Jaehyun doesn’t miss a beat either as he chuckles at him, then turns back to the vendor to order a second one.

The delicacy is a famous holiday staple. No one calls it Christmas without eating  _ bibingka  _ at least once during the season. Rows of vendors line up outside the church after every night mass, baking the cake just in time for it to serve as everyone’s savory breakfast.

Doyoung has never been a big fan of it. He dislikes the taste of the egg yolk in the middle and way that it gets too cakey in his mouth. Of course, he doesn’t dare admit this to his friends. They would do nothing but call him names like party pooper, killjoy, grump; you name it.

But right now, as he’s sitting outdoors in a busted table with Jaehyun, watching him unravel the rice cake from the banana leaves wrapped around it, maybe eating it doesn’t sound so bad.

Jaehyun goes on an elaborate show of gobbling up the cake in one bite, but ultimately regrets it once it lands on his mouth and burns his tongue. Doyoung bursts out laughing at his poor attempt, offering him a tissue when Jaehyun’s eyes start to water.

“How come I’ve never seen you here before?” he finally asks. It’s a question he’s been meaning to find answers to ever since the beginning.

Jaehyun chews on the food and does one forceful swallow before answering. "I’m actually from up north,” he says. “I'm second cousins with Donghyuck. My parents decided to spend Christmas with his family and Donghyuck invited me to join the choir while I’m here.”

Donghyuck… Doyoung tries to recall who it is until he realizes it’s one of Mark’s close friends. The younger members of the choir like to keep among themselves and Doyoung has never made an effort to get to know each one of them considering how rowdy they get. But now that he’s figured out Jaehyun is related to one of them, it looks like he should. 

Wait. Did Jaehyun just say  _ 'while I’m here?' _

“You’re leaving after the holiday?” Doyoung asks quietly.

Jaehyun shrugs apologetically and Doyoung doesn’t bother hiding the disappointment in his face. It’s unfair, putting Jaehyun in a tough spot where he has no control over. 

Doyoung shouldn’t be upset. Of course Jaehyun has to go back home. He doesn't have to stay for you, Doyoung. What has love done to you?

Then, out of impulse, Doyoung fishes something out of his pocket. Jaehyun watches him place his phone in the middle of the table as Doyoung hauls it over towards him. “Put your number,” he says.

Jaehyun blinks, quite stunned at his boldness. Still, he dusts the crumbs of dough off his hands and follows suit. He doesn’t look for an explanation, but Doyoung feels compelled to do so anyway.

“You bought me food,” Doyoung points out. “Next time it’s on me.”

Jaehyun smirks, handing him his phone back. “I’ll look forward to that then.” 

Doyoung stares at the new contact on his phone, texting the number so Jaehyun could save his. Part of him had worried that Jaehyun typed down a random number, so it relieves him to hear a phone audibly chime just after he hits the send button.

Jaehyun takes it out of his pocket, saving his number just as he saved his.

As soon as they get to Doyoung's apartment, they hear a distant rooster crowing. The skies that were filled with darkness just a few minutes ago are now painted a soft shade of blue. They’ve been together for over an hour now and neither of them even realized they've reached the break of dawn.

“Did I keep you up too late?” Jaehyun asks, noticing the revelation embedded on his face.

Doyoung feels the sudden urge to yawn, but holds back as much as he could. He doesn't intend on making Jaehyun feel guilty for spending time with him. “Not at all.”

He never really felt the exhaustion hitting his body until now, so how? How could someone make him feel so awake and alive despite his body being seconds away from collapsing?

"So I'll text you?" Jaehyun asks, and Doyoung mindlessly nods just before he gets back inside his apartment.

As soon as he shuts his door, instead of sleeping, he picks his phone out and silently waits.

By afternoon, Doyoung still hasn’t slept yet. How could he when Jaehyun had told him he’d text him and he hasn’t? Was it something he said in passing? Did he not save Doyoung's number at all? Did he  _ think _ he texted him but didn't get to press the send button? Doyoung stares at the message box in question, hoping he gets answers soon.

He hears his door open and finds Yuta, zombified as he shuffles to his own bed and dives headfirst. Looks like he just got home. Then, as quickly as he landed in the cushion, Doyoung hears him snore.

Night draws in and Doyoung is still as restless as he has been for the past few hours. Still no text from Jaehyun. Was it ‘I’ll text you’ or ‘Text me’? Maybe Doyoung has to make the first move? While he waits for his pot of water to boil in the kitchen, he sits on the counter, staring furiously at his phone to give him what he’s asking for.

Then, as if his phone is reacting to his threats, a notification pops.

It’s Jaehyun.

Doyoung just about stumbles himself down the counter as he pulls a panic cord, fumbling through his messages to open it. But before he could, a phone call from Mark blocks the screen just as he's about to open it. He scowls. Really? Out of all times?

He picks up.

_ “Would you be interested in joining us knock on strangers’ doors, sing unconsented Christmas carols, and extort money? In that exact order?”  _ Mark blurts out.

“No,” Doyoung responds flatly.

Before he could hang up, he hears a handful of voices all going at the same time:

“Tell him we’ll split the money with him!”   
“I told you he hates doing this.”   
“He won’t even sing, we just need another chaperone!”   
“Tell him Jaehyun’s tagging along.”

At that last voice, Doyoung pulls the phone back to his ear. It registers to him that it’s Donghyuck, Jaehyun’s second cousin. So the kids are planning to make money by singing songs outside houses and they want him and Jaehyun to be their babysitters?

“Doyoung! Doyoung! Jaehyun’s with us, too. Come on. It’ll be fun,” Mark urges.

He looks at the clock. He hasn’t slept in almost an entire day. Is it really worth it?

“Fine.”

It's safe to say that Doyoung has it bad.

As soon as he hangs up, he finally opens his inbox to read the text:

**Jaehyun** [6:23pm]: picking you up at 7 :)

They arrive at Doyoung’s place forty minutes past 7. Doyoung didn’t expect it any earlier considering how unbothered the younger ones have always been about the concept of time. Jaehyun is the only one apologetic about it, but it’s not like Doyoung wouldn’t forgive him either way.

By the looks of it, they came fully prepared. Mark and Jeno have their guitars slung across their bodies, Jaemin is holding a mini keyboard, Renjun has an egg shaker in hand, Jisung and Chenle are holding small bags (supposedly where they’d be putting the money in), and Donghyuck is waving at him– no instrument to accompany him apart from his undeniably pleasant voice.

They go around houses in the neighborhood, ringing doorbells and knocking on stainless gates as the kids perform a wonderful rendition of Joy to the World. Some would toss them spare change, while others would shut their doors before Donghyuck could even hit his first note.

At around 9, the bags Chenle and Jisung have are already filled up with money, but they decide to knock on one last door. Just as they're halfway through the song, the old man interrupts them and shakes his head. "Sorry, kids. I don’t have any change with me."

Donghyuck, being the mischievous one he's been all night, answers back with “It’s okay, we accept bills!” just before running away with the others, leaving Doyoung and Jaehyun behind.

The two of them apologize on the kids' behalf and Doyoung asks Jaehyun if his cousin has always been a pain in the ass like this.

Jaehyun walks him home after that. Despite not having slept yet, Doyoung thinks this just might be his favorite day yet.

He falls asleep before he could even set his alarm.

**December 23.** The eighth night mass.

They wouldn't have been late had Yuta not kept snoozing his alarm. When Doyoung feels his system awake, he suddenly realizes they should be up at this time. He jolts himself up, looking at the wall clock: 4:05AM.

A snoring Yuta lies on the other end of the room and Doyoung practically drags him awake just before he scrambles to grab a pair of jeans from his closet.

They run to the church with Yuta barely fitting his shoes on, missing the First Reading by a few seconds. They stay in the back of the room, catching their breaths as they collapse on the seats. He finds Taeil shaking his head at them and laughing at their supposedly ridiculous looks.

Doyoung turns to Yuta and hisses, "Why didn't you wake up? You've been sleeping all day."

"Why are you blaming me? You've been in charge of waking us up ever since the second night."

He isn't wrong. Doyoung has taken full control of getting the both of them up for the past week. Come to think of it, this is the farthest he's ever made it through without missing a night.

He's made it through eight nights. Just one more to go.

Then he remembers his wish. Contentment. Has he ever gotten it so far? Honestly, he's still not sure. Maybe he'll find out tomorrow.

He looks across the room and there's Jaehyun, looking at him. He throws Doyoung an amused smile, slightly patting at his own head. Doyoung reaches up to realize there's a patch of hair sticking up, so he smooths it down. Jaehyun grins, nodding just before he breaks his gaze.

Maybe he'll find out tomorrow.

**December 24.** The ninth (and last) night mass.

The last day of Simbang Gabi on Christmas Eve always has the most people compared to any other day. Yuta and Doyoung arrive at least an hour earlier, anticipating how crowded it would become. As expected, the rest of the choir are already there.

They walk into their friends congratulating each other for completing all nine days, greeting each other a Merry Christmas, sharing holiday plans, and exchanging small gifts. Yuta sulks in a seat as the others tease him for being the only one to miss out on a day.

Doyoung watches Mark go around everyone, reminding each one of them to be there tonight at his place. He makes a mental note to buy a cake for Mark’s family for tonight’s celebration. 

A tap on his right shoulder sends him turning around to see who it is, except there’s no one. He looks over to the other side and finds Jaehyun pretending to look away from him, holding back a smile. Doyoung rolls his eyes and tries to poke him on his sides as Jaehyun successfully dodges, laughing as he hunches over to block his waist.

Now Jaehyun’s singing voice is nice, but personally, Doyoung wouldn’t mind listening to him laugh all day long.

By the time the final session starts, his friends have managed to find a way to make him sit beside Jaehyun in the choir group. It’s no match for Doyoung's attempt to escape when Taeil’s the one in charge. Johnny also convinced him the rest of the pews are occupied anyway so he has no choice but to take the seat in offering.

Doyoung doesn’t deny that potential handholding might ensue in a couple of minutes, so before the Lord’s Prayer, he conditions himself to stay calm and not react the same way he did the first time.

_ ‘He’s holding your hand, Doyoung. Not asking for it in marriage,’  _ he reminds himself.

When the time comes and Mark strums his guitar to the tune of the song, their hands find their way to each other again. Although his heart still jumps out of his chest, this time he feels more relaxed than panicked.

Jaehyun's hands are undeniably smooth, like touching through clouds. It's hypnotizing in a way that Doyoung seems to forget that he should be singing along. So he does. Still, at the back of his mind, Doyoung thinks maybe he could get used to holding hands with him.

But then he remembers Jaehyun is only here until Christmas. He doesn’t really know when he’ll be leaving exactly because he never asked. Infatuation aside, the thought of Jaehyun leaving saddens him. The walks home with him may look mediocre for some, but for Doyoung, it’s been the reason it doesn't feel like a chore to wake up at dawn.

Before Jaehyun leaves, Doyoung feels like he has to at least let him know. Let him know that he enjoys spending time with him. Let him know that despite not being a big fan of everyone's favorite festive delicacy _ ,  _ he’d still eat it with him. Let him know that he likes holding his hand, maybe to something different than a hillsong. Let him know that he likes him.

As the song draws to an end, Doyoung musters up the courage to confess to him in his own little way. When they slowly bring their hands down at the last strum of the guitar, this time Doyoung doesn’t let go.

He watches Jaehyun look back at him, a mix of curiosity and surprise mapping his face. But ultimately, a pleasant smile washes over it, subtle enough for Doyoung to notice. Doyoung smiles right back.

The thing is, Jaehyun doesn't let go either. 

Before Simbang Gabi officially gets concluded, the priest asks the crowd, “To everyone who completed all nine masses, has your wish been granted?” He turns to the choir group and says, “I know for a fact that’s what all the teenagers are here for.”

Soft chuckles fill the room and Jaehyun nudges Doyoung, making him look his way.

“What about you?” he asks.

"Me?"

"Has your wish been granted?".

Doyoung thinks about it for a moment.

Come to think of it, maybe Yuta was right. Contentment is too vague of a wish. He wouldn’t really know if he’s ever gotten it because, let's face it, who’s ever fully contented anyway, right?

But then he looks back on the past nine days. All Doyoung could think about is how this whole experience changed him. It isn’t just an hour of every day. It isn’t just nine days he felt compelled to complete anymore. Waking up at dawn no longer felt like an obligation. What started as something he did only to hope his wish comes true has turned into something else. Something more.

So to answer that: no, maybe his wish hasn’t been granted.

Doyoung doesn’t realize he’s been gazing at Jaehyun’s eyes until he feels him squeezing his hand, bringing him back to reality.

He shakes his head slightly. “No, not really,” he mutters. “I wished for contentment, but I don’t think I’ve gotten it just yet.”

“Why not?”

He stares to look down at their hands clasped, breaking it off gently just to interlace their fingers together.

It’s a good fit, Doyoung thinks. It’s even better now that Jaehyun is slightly running his thumb over his that it almost soothes him to sleep. Doyoung could really get used to this.

“Because I was hoping there were more days before Christmas.”

**Noche buena.** Mark’s Christmas Eve dinner. 

They arrive at Mark’s place two hours before midnight. His friends have already gotten there before them, looking painfully full from the amount of food they’ve eaten. A literal  _ feast _ is laid out on a long table, ranging from various meat to fruits and snacks.

Families really go all-out when it comes to Christmas Eve dinners and Mark’s family is no exception as they encourage almost everyone in the neighborhood to come inside for a meal.

Of course, Doyoung looks around and notices that neither Donghyuck nor Jaehyun are around. He should’ve known that was the last time he’s ever going to see him. Now Jaehyun is going back up north and Doyoung couldn’t help but mope.

Yuta seems to notice the sudden shift in his face because he suddenly wraps an arm around Doyoung, messing with his hair as he says, “It’s okay, Doyoung. You can pour your heart out tonight. We're getting drunk!”

This gets a laugh out of him. He chuckles as he pushes his friend aside. “I’m okay,” he says. Yuta looks at him with a straight face, unconvinced. “I’m serious!”

“And I’m serious too when I say you can cry it all out.”

Just as Doyoung is about to object, someone behind him says, “I didn’t know there’d be crying tonight.”

Doyoung whips his head back at the voice he’s learned to grow familiar with. Jaehyun is grinning at him, the same look he has everytime Doyoung walks in the church. The same look that starts Doyoung’s day and convinces him it’ll be worth it. Doyoung wants to jump into his arms then and there.

“Hey,” he breathes out. “I thought you were spending time with your family.”

Jaehyun shrugs, motioning his head at Donghyuck. “He asked if we could drop by.” They watch as Donghyuck hauls two six-packs of beer inside the room and his friends erupt into cheers. “Well… technically, he begged.”

“If you excuse me, I’ll be leeching off those kids for a bottle,” Yuta says, patting Doyoung’s chest and ribbing Jaehyun’s guts as he makes his way to steal Donghyuck’s case.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Doyoung admits as soon as Yuta is out of earshot.

Jaehyun nods at him. “Me too.”

“When will you be leaving?” Doyoung finally asks.

They found a curb to sit on just outside Mark’s house, quiet enough to hold a conversation without the blaring Christmas jingles being played. It also helps that Mark’s house is illuminated with blinking star lanterns in front of them. It makes a nice view from their spot.

“The day after tomorrow.” Doyoung nods. He feels Jaehyun scooting closer and he doesn’t dare move when the ends of their sneakers meet. "You know," Jaehyun silently adds, "my place is one train stop away from here."

Doyoung looks up at him slowly, raising a brow. “What are you implying?”

Jaehyun shrugs sheepishly. “Maybe you can get a ride if you feel like it.”

“Why is it that I’m the one who’ll do the spending?”

“You owe me a meal, right?”

Doyoung shoves him jokingly.

Judging by the absolute shit of a railway system, by train it would probably take him at least three carriage breakdowns before he gets to his stop. Travelling by car isn’t helpful either because of the constant traffic jams on the freeway. It would probably be faster for him to swim his way to Hong Kong before he could even get to his destination.

But to be honest, despite all that, if it meant meeting Jaehyun again, then maybe either bumper-to-bumper traffic or faulty trains don’t sound so bad as they seem.

Then, suddenly Doyoung feels the urge to confess when he silently starts muttering, “Jaehyun, I think…”

Jaehyun tilts his head at him.

He hesitates for a while, but after the stunt he pulled earlier today, it’s not like Jaehyun doesn’t know already. Still, for his sake, he feels like he has to say it out loud. Just so it’s out there. “I think I really like you.”

Jaehyun, as expected, doesn’t look fazed at the confession. Of course, he knew. Instead, he nods. “I think I really like you too, Doyoung.”

And just by hearing that, Doyoung is already on cloud nine, but it hits a different high when Jaehyun shifts in his seat and asks:

“Would you hate me if I kissed you right now?”

Doyoung stills in place, the only part of him moving are his eyes to flicker involuntarily down at Jaehyun’s lips. Honestly, kissing him right now doesn't sound like such a horrible idea. “I’d hate you if you didn’t.”

Jaehyun chuckles. Then gently, he starts placing a hand behind Doyoung’s head and leans forward. Doyoung shuts his eyes.

Kissing Jaehyun is a lot more electrifying that he thought it would be. It feels like a jolt– whatever exhaustion coursed through Doyoung from barely getting enough sleep for the past few days have just left his body. It makes him feel alive– like what Jaehyun always has done to him even before all this. The only difference is that Doyoung wouldn’t mind locking lips with him like this all day.

His hands move to find their way to cup Jaehyun’s cheeks as he scoots closer towards him, kissing more of him than he ever could in a while. The noise from the guys singing karaoke inside the house drowns out and the only thing running through Doyoung’s mind right now is how he should’ve done this a long time ago.

They break off only to stop for air, and Jaehyun leans his forehead against his, noses slightly nuzzling. He smiles shyly, huffing out a breath of laughter as Doyoung feels it brush against his skin. They stay like that for a while and Doyoung runs his thumb lightly against Jaehyun’s soft cheeks.

Maybe Doyoung likes him more than he thinks.

“Renjun!” They hear Donghyuck shout from the half-opened gate. They pull back to watch him finish the remainder of his beer bottle as he slightly slurs in his speech. “You better get your ass out here and pay up!”

It’s quickly followed by a couple of audible gasping from inside the house and footsteps racing outside. Their friends run out to see the both of them sitting on the curb, faces still closer than platonically accepted, and then there's a mix of ecstatic cheering and frustrated groaning.

Doyoung scoffs in disbelief, watching half of them reach for their wallet in devastation as they hand out a bill to the others. “You guys made a bet on us?”

“You should’ve kissed after midnight!” Renjun whines as Donghyuck sneers, sniffing his crisp new money and waving them triumphantly in the air. “Why would you make out before Christmas?! How does that make sense?!”

Yuta runs out from the house, sneakers almost screeching as he gapes at the two of them. “Did they really?!” he asks wide-eyed.

Donghyuck, with his fresh wad of cash, points at the nativity scene decoration in front of Mark’s house. "Right in front of baby Jesus," he sighs.

Jaehyun giggles and Doyoung turns to see his dimples deepening. He smiles to himself. Maybe they could do this again some other time.

He gets up on his feet, dusting his jeans from the concrete they sat on. He offers a hand to Jaehyun and hauls him up, near enough to kiss him again. It’s tempting, but he’d rather save the embarrassment from the watchful eyes of his friends. Jaehyun seems to get the message because he lifts his eyebrows up at him, puckering his lips slowly as a tease that it forces Doyoung to roll his eyes and wipe it off his face.

Jaehyun laughs, reaching out to grab Doyoung's hand on his face as he laces it with his instead. They turn to their friends and Jaehyun tugs at his hand lightly, motioning that they should follow their friends behind to get back inside. Doyoung nods and lets him lead the way.

Just nine days ago, Doyoung wished for contentment. Although it never really came true, right now, as his fingers are tangled with the person who won his heart, maybe, just maybe, Doyoung feels like it’s slowly coming true.

**Author's Note:**

> it occurred to me that the first dojae i’ve ever written was angst and therefore i needed to repent by showering this one with fluff.
> 
> i hope you guys enjoyed that as much as i did! kudos are very much appreciated. i also love reading comments so it'd be great if you let me know what you think! (⌒▽⌒)☆
> 
> you can find me on [twitter](http://twitter.com/dochidoii/) too!


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